The World According to Juliet

Number Two

checkyesjuliet13 — Sun, 04 Jul 2010 04:35:16 +0000

I’m talking to my sister while visiting her in Brooklyn and she says to me, “He is taking the biggest poop right now.”
You ever wonder what people look like while they are going number two? A scrunched up face, blank stare, or eyes closed biting their lip? I guess it all really depends on the type of poop you are making. I mean people take in their iPhones or iPads, maybe even this months Cosmopolitan or Monday’s New York Times. Or maybe it’s just a quiet place to ponder for a moment; a person’s only private time for the day. 1,000 years ago we were all shitting in holes outside, but when you think about aren’t we still shitting in holes whether it be a cesspool or sewer.. Right?

The Melancholy Death of My Brain and Other Sad Tales.

checkyesjuliet13 — Sat, 03 Jul 2010 13:54:42 +0000

Maybe my brain is dying. I feel like it’s shrinking, like a balloon with a small leak. The exact part of my brain that is dying is called the Amygdala; according to doctors and scientists this controls your emotions. Because if my entire brain were completely dead, I wouldn’t be typing this.

Anyway, I really feel my brain is lacking in any type of emotional connection with the world. I’m serious, maybe this is it for my amygdala. It’s finally dying and moving into apathy. It’s sick of the world and everyone’s bullshit. I’m going to contradict what I had said earlier, but when you think about my state of mind, it is a melancholy death; it is sad. Sad that I just want to be alone, and not care about anyone else anymore (maybe just a few people). I have a barren stare on my face at all times.

On July 3, 2010 at approximately 9:30 AM, Juliet Rose Dombrowski’s amygdala died tragically due to unknown causes. She was just 19 years old. It left Juliet with a creative mind, but took with it all her emotions no longer at her disposal. A vacant area of the brain that was home to hurt, love, and empathy no longer exists.

To Juliet’s family, may you suffer little from your now aloof daughter.

The final resting place of Juliet’s amygdala will be in Brooklyn, New York. Ceremony will be held on July 4th along with fire works and large quantities of crab legs. Funeral procession will be lead by a 2008 white Ford Focus on the LIE and BQE this afternoon at about 12 pm leaving from Plaza Medical.

Mister Softee for dinner

checkyesjuliet13 — Thu, 01 Jul 2010 01:18:21 +0000

Mister softee cherry dipped vanilla soft serve in a wafer cone. Yumm

Play that funky music white boy

checkyesjuliet13 — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 22:11:58 +0000

This week I’ve been in quite the funk. Emotionally I can’t figure out what’s going on.
My dejected mood is causing strange organization activities at work. I took apart all of our cabinets, printed out labels for each box, threw away old forms, and ordered things we ran out of.
I feel like being alone.

In a World of Pure Imagination

checkyesjuliet13 — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 21:13:11 +0000

I’ve been wanting so much candy and ice-cream these past few days. I’m sitting on my front stoop waiting for Mister Softee. I’m like a dog patiently awaiting the return of his master in the front window. I heard the ice cream truck music five minutes ago, I wonder where it went..
Will Juliet ever get her ice cream?
Will Mister Softee return to the neighborhood?!
Tune in next time to see how it ends!

Geico Can Help You Save 15% or More

checkyesjuliet13 — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 13:55:26 +0000

Yesterday I was approved for my first car loan. So like any smart young American I went to Geico car insurance to sign up for a policy. Because I am still considered a “new driver” they want to charge me $3,400 per year for the least amount of coverage. I hate to be a complainer but that policy is a piece of shit.

When I Grow Up

checkyesjuliet13 — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 04:51:43 +0000

Some day I won’t live with my parents.

I’ll wake up in an empty apartment, my bed cold on one side.

I’ll shower in luke warm water.

Skip breakfast and head to a job I didn’t go to college for.

Snicker’s ice cream

checkyesjuliet13 — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 06:42:01 +0000

I just got back from a date with Michael. We did your classic get ice cream and sit on a park bench scenario.

“I have to ask you a question.”

“Yeah?”

“Do you want to be my girlfriend?”

“No.”

!!@@!#!!

“Of course I will!”

We ran and danced in the Northport village playground. I wrote poop in the sand. He added S.. POOPS. How romantic.

We are like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. A simple yet made for each other combination. Yum.

Juliet’s Day Off

checkyesjuliet13 — Wed, 09 Jun 2010 03:25:18 +0000

Tuesday is my day off from work. I find it to be such a random day during the week to have off.

I had French toast again, this time frozen.

I watched Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.

Today was also slip n slide day. I do this every summer for 3 years now. I whip out the slip n slide for an entire day.

About three years ago my friend and I went to toys r us and picked up 3 slip n slides. This year we are down to one. But I must say this year was a successful slip n slide day. We even attached the water slide to the swing set slide, therefore extending the length of the original slide.

I will probably have one more slip n slide day this year.

I have a stack of summer reading to do. I think I am going to get started before I go to bed tonight.

-JD

It could happen to me.

checkyesjuliet13 — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 03:10:12 +0000

I woke up at 10 AM.

I made delicious French toast.

My mother lashed out at me because I smoke cigarettes.

Dear Mom,

I have been smoking cigarettes since I’m 16.

I enjoy them down to the filter.

I smoke Camels or Natural American Spirits.

I love to smoke them.

Love,

Juliet

PS- I am not quitting.

I went into work 3 hours early.

Every few minutes I would look outside to see if he was coming in.

An hour passed and I gave up.

“Nick, the physical therapist is ready for you- Oh My!”

There he was,

leaned against the wall with a bouquet of mixed flowers.

I nearly melted into a puddle on the floor of Plaza Medical.

Dear Michael,

You are extraordinary.

I’m not really sure what I did to deserve you.

Thank you.

Yours truly,

Juliet.

PS- When I tell you to stop being nice, don’t listen to me.